On Romance and Individuality

About a year and a half ago, I was the maid of honor in a close friend’s wedding, which involved giving a toast. Speech-writing has never been a strength of mine, so I scrolled through quotes online for inspiration.

As it turns out, lots of much-beloved quotes about love are so… dramatic. I kept reading things like “I’ll love you until the last stars in the universe burn into the ether” and “a life without you would be a miserable, abysmal darkness.”

I mean, I get it. The first stages of infatuation are a pretty wild ride. But what about steady, long-term love? The bond of intimacy is incredibly strong, but it never really leads to two people fusing into a singular, ecstatic Borg. (Nor should it! That would be terribly creepy.)

Here’s how I see it: the real strength of romantic love lies in steady companionship, mutual support, and complimentary individuality. (And lots and lots of listening.) Here are a few relevant quotes I enjoyed:

I love you. I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and feelings, even when I hold you in my arms. (E.M. Forster)

She rested her head against his and felt, for the first time, what she would often feel with him: a self-affection. He made her like herself. With him, she was at ease; her skin felt as though it was her right size. (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

We would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright. (Ernest Hemingway)

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature created by The Broke and the Bookish, where bloggers share their top ten responses to a given theme.

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  • Reply Lianne @ February 9, 2016 at 7:40 am

    Great quotes that your chose! I haven’t read any of the books you listed there except for A Room With a View (ahhh, I remember that scene where that quote was said <3) but the Hemingway quote is especially nice–the image of the stars and the Milky Way are probably helping matters too 😉

  • Reply Liselle @ Lunch-Time Librarian February 9, 2016 at 8:55 am

    I agree! All encompassing love can be a bit excessive. It’s always better to keep your individuality and just complement each other instead of becoming each other.

    Did you make you quote graphics again?? I’m so consistently blown away by how effortlessly beautiful they look 🙂
    Liselle @ Lunch-Time Librarian recently posted…The Magicians Book Review – Wine and Cheese with WitchesMy Profile

  • Reply February Wrap-Up || March TBR (2016) – She Latitude March 2, 2016 at 3:24 pm

    […] Paloma from Pages and Pineapples talks about romance and individuality. […]

  • Reply Geraldine @ Corralling Books March 20, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    These quotes are awesome! I really liked the very last one – that one made me aww! 😀
    Geraldine @ Corralling Books recently posted…Beyond the Pages: Assisted SuicideMy Profile

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